Saturday, October 21, 2006

SOLD (stc)

Mmm, new things to play with.

I've moved to here, 'though I've yet to edit the template and play with all the fun stuff, but it's so late and I need to sleeeeep.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Soap Reaction PtI

Norman Bates

Oh my GOD. I didn't see that one coming!


I'm thinking of moving already. The carpets smell of dog here, and I'll always be a wordpress girl at heart.

In other news, today I have mostly been sniffing and coughing. I took the day off work - something I hate doing when there are just two of us in the office - and despite my illness being very much genuine and apparent (to the point that I carry the evidence on my sleeve) I can't help but feel terribly guilty.

I have to take back what I said about One Summer. I'm really enjoying Billy and Icky's adventures now. And it wasn't until the menu screen popped up last night that I realised there are two discs to watch. And, of course, I only had the first. Gah! So I thought I'd catch up my weekly dose of The Apprentice USA (probably my most favourite thing on the tellybox at the moment) only to find that some the idiotic scheduler decided to broadcast the last four episodes within a week? Suddenly, instead of five candidates, I am seeing the final two. Not happy.. not happy at all, and not least of all because I prided myself on my ability to predict who'd be getting the next cab home. How am I going to impress the cats now?

Today's Room 101: Drivers that hover at the top of Every. Single. Bastard ramp in a multi-storey car park.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


The letterbox has just flapped. On the doormat lies a leaflet:

TEL: 020 1234 5678


One for the history books

I should mention that on Tuesday I felt like poo and was therefore unusually inactive. Typical that this should be the day that will go down in history for all to view, forever. Just my fucking luck.

But enough with the excuses.

12.01am: Watched the end of Final Destination 3 without so much as blinking. Quite an achievement for me.

12.45am: Photoshop therapy to relieve annoyance caused by The Ginger neighbours' incredulous response to my polite complaint about their 8-hours-a-day barking dogs; this response being a letter of complaint about my cats terrorising their guinea pigs and exacerbating Mrs Ginger's cat allegy by sitting on their plastic garden furniture. How do you respond to THAT?

3.20am: Headwrote varying replies to The Gingers' letter in bed. Slept and dreamt of things that don't bother me when in a wakeful state, but patently do when I'm in slumberland. Bizarre.

8.00am: (Whilst asleep) Automated responses to things.

12.15pm: Awoke to the sound of the television and with the feeling that Fern Britton had been presenting This Morning from the comfort of my chest. Coughed up some nasty looking stuff. Lit a cigarette and put it out after failing to inhale.

13.10pm: Checked my email, deleting pleas from orphaned Ivory Coast potential-multi-millionaires who "felt like emptying themselves to me". And offers of genuine "R0l Ex" watches at discount prices. Splendid.

-Jeremy Kyle Show interlude-

3.15pm: Picked up Daughter Two from school and drove to town to collect Daughter One. Popped into Ottakars en route to buy Daughter One the latest Eoin Colfer book. Was very tempted to buy Best of Jackie Annual for myself, but opted to add it to my Christmas Wishlist instead.

5.10pm: Went to local Sainsburys and purchased the following:

Bag of potatoes
Toulouse sausages
Broccoli and cauliflower
Gravy granules
Aunt Bessies Yorkshire Puddings
Aunt Bessies Roast Potatoes
Chocolate Cake

6.30pm: Made dinner, nipping between the living room and kitchen watching the Eggheads almost lose. Spoke briefly to Bestmate and arranged to go over to her house at 8pm to watch a movie.

7.20pm: Ate dinner (Sausage and mustard mash swimming in gravy) with a small slice of chocky cake for dessert.

7.30pm: Watched Eastenders, whilst thinking how much better Coronation Street is and how I wished it was Wednesday instead. Waited for Ruby's head to explode; it seemed to get fatter by the minute. It didn't happen. God, what a shite programme.

8.00pm: Watched the start of Holby City whilst thinking how depressing it was. Woke to the disturbing sound of Nigel from Eastenders (now a doctor in Holby, but always the dopey Womble lookylikey to me) sobbing uncontrollably.

9.00pm: Phoned Bestmate to say that I wouldn't be round at 8.00pm. Obviously. Explained that I was still coughing up small aliens and that I'd take a rain check. Surfed the net some. Feeling a little nostalgic today, so promised myself a trip to the Museum of Brands, Packaging & Advertising before the month is over.

9.20pm: Watched the end of the Horizon documentary on Isabelle Dinoire, who in 1995* became the first face transplant patient, then at

10.00pm: Switched over to Channel4 for The Madness of Boy George. Fab! Great to see Marc Almond looking so well.

11.00pm: Watched the first two episodes of One Summer, which had arrived via Lovefilm earlier that morning. It seemed terribly dated, and not nearly as fantastic as it was when first screened in 1983.

Gosh, don't you wish you had my life.

*I'm leaving this typo so you can see just how nostaligic I was feeling yesterday. s'easy to lose a decade here and there. It should, of course, read 2005.

Friday, October 13, 2006


Nope, no wurds today.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Going to hell

If He didn't like what I was doing He'd have stopped the pissing rain, and let me go out to play, right?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Inbox 2

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's amazement, the colour ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

Monday, October 09, 2006


I have just eaten a truly naughty, overfilled, made-by-the-food-devil-himself, hot chicken, bacon and sweetcorn panini but if it weren't for the empty wrapper in my hand (and the mayonnaise splodge on my trousers) I'd never have known it. Food amnesia. I just hate it when that happens.